Gift Ideas For the Kind-Hearted

I am caught smack-dab in this whole commercial holiday rat-race this holiday season. I am someone who loves to give, and loves to make people feel loved and appreciated. So looking for the most perfect gift or way of sending my love weighs heavily on my mind.

I do like having some presents to open, who doesn't. But, by golly the amount of money that the Western world alone is spending for this holiday season on presents to open has got to be approximately a ga-zillion, or something sickening like that.

And I have a WHOLE LOT of people in my life I need to thank and appreciate. (And that is a good thing). Not to mention, special people in my kid's life that appreciate them and, like my son's bus driver, keep him safe and happy. So, I have a lot of spending to do.

Which got me thinking. What if I spend a fraction of our holiday card/gift money on something that is truly helpful and meaningful to those that are not as fortunate.

I've traveled to poor countries and seen desperation in the eyes of mothers. Heck, I drive to our local co-op and see the desperation in the eyes of men and women holding a sign up on the street corner. I've seen desperate times of my own.

So this year, as part of my gift-giving, I will be donating to Heifer International and YoKid  in honor of a few of my special kind-hearted people in my life. The Heifer donation will help bring a gift of rabbits and a starter flock of chickens to a family in need to help them provide more of sustainable food source and income.

The YoKid donation will help fund a program that helps give children, particularly those living in poverty, with regular access to yoga that can equip them with techniques that can help them better cope with stress, decrease their likelihood of obesity, and improve their general understanding of how to care for themselves both mentally and physically throughout childhood and into adulthood.

For an Animal Lover:
I love Heifer International because you get to give a sheep, a goat, or a flock of chickens, a camel (!) or a bio-fuel stove to a family or various other practical options that will provide a more sustainable way for a family them to feed, earn money, or cook. Plus, you get a nice little donation card to give to your gift recipient. 

For a Yoga-Lover:

Check out this website Off The Mat and Into the World for a whole host of amazing yoga-related charities/ NGOs. I choose to give to YoKid because it seems like all the big youth-based yoga NGO's are all out on the west coast, and I wanted to give our east coast some lovin'. YoKid provides instruction in yoga for kids and teens mostly in the D.C area. They provide affordable on-site instruction for kids, as well, they have a big network of teachers who provide outreach for any school or organization who need it. They also launching a Kids Yoga Conference in 2014! Donate here

For a Teacher or Coach: 

You could make a donation to a great international NGO called Right To Play, who provides regular access to sport and play activities that help them to develop self-esteem, a sense of belonging and become role models for other children. (I am a bit biased because I used to work here! But I have visited their programs in Africa and the kids are super happy and thankful.)

For a Food or Cheese Lover:

Give the gift of four cheese producing animals. The C

heeses of the World Gift Basket is made up of four milk-producing animals: a goat, a sheep, a water buffalo and a heifer. Families will also receive training on the animals' care. This gift provides an abundance of milk to make cheese, butter and yogurt. It increases wealth by providing dairy products that can be sold.

For the Feminist or Scholar:
Send a girl to school for a year, for $56.  In places like Afghanistan, Congo or Ethiopia, girls’ schooling is critical: educated girls become smart, strong women committed to leading their communities toward stability. In Ethiopia alone, The International Resue Committee helped educate nearly 4,500 girls in 2012. Your donation can supply the tuition, books and other supplies a girl needs to attend school for a year.

This holiday season, consider giving a gift that is truly needed. 

Namaste!

A Little Violin for a Little Lad: How its Worked Out

Testing out his violin for the first time (3yrs, 3 months old)

We started my son in violin lessons a few months after her turned three. It takes a certain three-year-old kid to start at that age. It takes one who has that determination, concentration skills and love of music to make it through the almost daily practices without a huge fight.

We could see that our son had that potential. Just as importantly, he seemed so responsive to music and playing an instrument at an early age. He really wanted to play the guitar. But violin was the only option. He was cool with that. Plus, living in the musical gifted city that we do, we found an amazing Suzuki teacher who is especially gifted at teaching the wee ones. So we gave it a whirl.

The first few months were the hardest. He hadn't even touched a real violin, and the "reward" of being able to play a song was not there. But as he mastered the "bow hold" and slowly, very slowly he started to learn how to play twinkle twinkle in various rhythms, and by his fourth birthday, he could play a whooping one song (sarcasm!) with 5 or so different rhythms.

Here is a cute video of him practicing one. He just turned four.



Even though he didn't learn very much musically that first year, we started young so that he could cultivate a skill to help with his self-confidence, and because it is a concrete way to teach him the benefit of a little hard-work.

Learning an instrument is an easy way for kids to see their progress!

Here he is just a year later, just turned five, playing three other songs.



For the first time in over a year, we watched that video of him practicing his twinkles at age four, and it really made us appreciate how far he has come. Now he is up to a dozen or so songs on the violin. He really took off after that first twinkle!

Today, with a little tear, we traded in his first violin, the smallest they make, for the next size up. He has had that little squawker for two years! Boy, the bigger one sounds so much better. But I will miss the little squawky, squeeky one.

Here is a short clip of his very last practice on his first little violin.



Drum roll please....

Here he is on his new violin. Here is Twinkle Twinkle for comparison.



Honestly, even if he gives up his violin as he ages, I still think it has been a wonderful and valuable experience for him. We don't think he is a musical prodigy or anything. But he is a special little guy, and I think he has needed something to channel his inner scorpio energy on.  I am all about channeling energy in good and productive ways.

Like I said, starting out a three-year-old in violin isn't for all kids. For some, the fight to get the kid to do it would far outweigh any benefits. But for us, it worked!

Now if I could just get my son to practice yoga more regularly with me....

Two Surprise Congratulations

This weekend I received not one, but two follow ups from emails that had "Congratulations" in their subject line.  Apparently I had thrown the original emails out thinking they were spam. What, you mean not every email with congratulations in the subject line is a hoax? Who knew!

Thanks to Bliss Habits Blogversary-apolooza, I won my pick of a 12x12 inch print from Katie M. Berggren's intimate moments of motherhood collection. Her paintings fill me with so much love. To me, they express that pure unconditional love that resonates in me  when the kids are sleeping, when my kids are not constantly interrupting me during those sweet unscripted moments in the day.  

It was hard to choose, but this one below I just adore. It reminds me of kissing the thick chubby soft skin of my babies. I swear I kiss my baby daughters cheek 10 times a day.

Mother and Child Red Curly Dark Hair, by Katie M. Berggren

The other congratulations email pretty much knocked me over, and still has me pondering if there is a catch. But what the heck, someone with some street cred read my blog and deemed it was worthy for this:

The Fascination Awards are an annual collection of the web’s most inspirational and thought-provoking blogs. All participants are nominated by our editorial team and voted on by our readers.

Crazy, I know. But, truth is, it was because I got some good comments on my blog, so I want to thank you for reading, and for those of you who commented!

I am just happy to be nominated. There are a lot of fabulous yogi blogs there too. But if you care to do so, I'd appreciate your vote!  Click on the "Vote for Me" icon below. You will need a Google+ account to cast a vote. Sign into it. Then you’ll be able to see a clickable ‘+1′ hovering over ‘The Domestic Yogi’.

Namaste!

Using the Poignant Effect of Death

A few months ago, in fact a week before my 35th birthday, I was shocked to learn that a friend of mine, Anna Alexandrova, died suddenly of stomach cancer. We were born the same year; both intense fire dragons.

I used to work with Anna at a children's charity in Toronto. We started around the same time and bonded over yoga, fitness and health. She was a tireless Senior Policy Advisor who went on to be the National Foundation's Director at Soros Foundation Kazakhstan.

"In our memories Anna will always remain young,
energetic, generous and full of new ideas"
Soros Foundation Kazakhstan

I love what her last employer wrote, "we admire the strength of her spirit and dedication to the ideals of open society. Anna had an acute sense of justice, empathy and belief in our ability to change the world for the better. Her passion and incredible diligence always filled us with energy and enthusiasm."

When I found out she had died, it really shook me. And for some weird reason, deaths don't usually effect me too much. I hadn't communicated much with her, other than on Facebook. Maybe I am just getting older, and    now that I have more to lose, fear my own death.

Anna's death was on the heals of another tragic loss to the Toronto community of an inspirational yoga teacher, Jenna Morrison, 38, pregnant with her second child, who died accidentally while riding her bike on the streets of Toronto. I couldn't help feeling such compassion for Jenna's family, or for Jenna for that matter. I also couldn't help thinking that it could of been me. I biked those wild streets in Toronto daily. Even in the snow sometimes.

Jenna and her family

It just makes me so sad to loose such bright lights in this world - we need every single one. 

I know all too well the effort women like these go through to get to the sweet age of 35. All the years since so young putting effort in to making oneself beautiful, presentable, knowledgeable to the world. Then using  their energy to help others and make the world a better place.

It seems like these special ladies were just hitting their stride, and blam. Gone. Did they ever get a chance to really relax and reap the rewards?  Anna worked up until her last days. She probably thought she didn't do enough. But I know everyone else was proud of her and thought she did more than enough in her short life.

For the months following Anna's death, my thoughts kept turning back to her. I kept seeing Anna in my baby daughter's wide-set blue eyes and wide smile. 

As a mother, I couldn't help feeling compassion for Anna's mother for loosing her daughter. For her husband for loosing his partner.

I also couldn't help thinking about my own untimely death should I die soon. I remember nights of singing my son to sleep and seeing Anna clearly pop into my head. I thought it may be a sign I might get cancer and die soon. And it made me really appreciate the sweet moments I have with my kids. Though, made me deeply sad to think they would loose their mom so young, and I wouldn't be able to share so many other precious memories with them.

Lately, I spend less energy consumed by the thoughts of my possible untimely death. I don't want to feed that thought too much. I think it was just my way of processing, grieving, and acknowledging. I do try to stay aware of the reality of impermanence, and acknowledged daily that death can happen any moment.

Buddhist practicioners meditate on death to prepare one for the passage, and to lessen the affect of attachment to this world. They believe it is important to think about the reality of one's death everyday so as to appreciate one's life and to prepare for the event.

I am grateful for the renewed awareness of death. Death is a powerful force. It can bring communities together. It generates compassion from mere strangers.

Death can be used as a tool for self awakening, and as a means of connecting with others. We are all one. We never die.

Tips for Parents of Scorpios

A few friends of mine are having babies in November, and have asked for some insight into scorpio babies & children.

Since I have two of my own scorpios, and not-to-mention a scorpio husband, I thought I would share some of my own first-hand-experience, especially how to keep them in balance.

Scorpio have a certain reputation for being moody, intense and drawn to deep intimate relationships. From my experience with them, I'd say that it's fairly accurate.

Personally, I love scorpios' energy. It is deep, intense and powerful. When channeled correctly, their inner intensity makes them so outwardly passionate and enthusiastic that it is hard not to be swept away and perhaps be even inspired by them. Adults or children alike. Their inner power externally manifests as ambition, persistence, and determination. These characteristics, as you can imagine, can lead a scorpio to accomplish many things in this great wide world.

Watch out though. If a scorpios' inner energy is out of balance, when their "big inner energy" releases, it may just sting you. Sorry for the lame metaphor, but unfortunately, it is a perfect word to describe it. For adults anyways, whenever I come out of a social interaction with a scorpio off balance, the nicer words that come to mind are "biting", "weird", "grumpy" or "bitchy".

Moody is a Doozy
When scorpios' deep inner needs are being met, and they are on the edge of their development curve where they are learning and growing, then they will be bright, happy, and brilliant stars.

Since Scorpio's are prone to moodiness, it is usually evidently clear when something is not right with them.

Especially true when it has to do with "big picture" stuff. I can always tell when my boys' spirit are not in tune. They start to have this undertone of grumpiness every day that just doesn't go away. It isn't a really bad at all, but its there, you know it.

I see it in my son when he doesn't get enough interaction, or is learning enough, or have something he can channel his energy into, he is a grump! When we started him in violin lessons, for example, his spirit started to shine again.

As for my baby girl. She is a double scorpio (also scorpio rising). For her, I see it as this: she is so content, happy, bright and spirited. Especially when she is on the edge of her learning curve. Just before she could sit up alone-ish, she became a very-vocally-loud-protesting-grump for a week! Then she could sit up by herself and she couldn't be happier not to be laying around most of the day.

It seems scorpios' mood can change on a dime. So as the care taker, you got to be prepared to react and balance it out.

Her scorpio comes out mostly when she is tired or hungry. You don't really know, until you know without a shadow of a doubt. She turns on a dime. To the point of being in the middle of a big expressive-laugh, that ends with an angry upset shriek loud enough the dogs down the street could hear it.

So Sensitive
Scorpio's are known to be sensitive, but it is in a deep solid way. Not like an "air sign" toddler who can get blown away and so overcome with emotion from the first breeze of the wind. Scorpio's sensitivity has more to do with being attune to their environment. They seem to have a deeper sense of what is going on. They are sensitive to the vibe in a room, or the vibe of a person. They can read others emotions, like if they are happy or sad, or even happy/sad with them. They are intuitive.

As a baby, my son was always extra sensitive to my vibe. If I was having a bad day, it was an even worse day for him because he was so tuned into me and didn't know what was wrong. Now he is older and knows that sometimes I am grumpy (yes! I admit it!) but that it isn't his fault (I make sure he knows I am sorry, but I am just tired or whatever) and he so he can function now independently, and is fine. (Now if he would just learn to leave me alone when I am grumpy. Ha, fat chance. Read the intimacy part).

Although they may sense it, Scorpio children may or may not be greatly effected by the external "vibe". My daughter, for example, who doesn't seem to be as effected by other people's emotional states. When my on gets grumpy at her for an irrational reason ("stop touching my car!!! UGH!!") and is very typically dramatic about it, she thinks it is the funniest thing she has ever seen. (I do too but am more polite).

Deep Intimate Connection
Because they are so sensitive and intense, scorpios tend to form very intense bonds with others, especially the main care-takers. My hubs was a bit jealous of my son-and-my connection at first. My son was a bit possessive of me, dare I say. Still is, but in a good solid, grounded to an adult way. He isn't shy to play or be left at grandparents, friends or school.

My son loves to play with his friends. Every few months I will causally ask him,  "so who is your best friend now?"  So far, he keeps surprising me and answers, "you mom." Not looking for the compliment, I try to dive a little deeper. "No really, which friend do you like to play with the most?" But a lass, there it comes with a real loving smile, "you mama." "Oh," I say, "thanks." And I give him a hug, quite honored.

It seems like scorpios have a deep longing for a deep connection with another to feel complete and in balance.

So if you want a deep connection with your child, and are having (or have) a scorpio, then you are in the money! Scorpios certainly possesses the ability.

That is why I choose, in part, to stay at home with my two scorpios. I fear they would resent me if I didn't, and would act out negatively. I am also pretty happy at home, so that helps too.

Mental Stuff
Adults and children scorpios alike are mysterious, a little sneaky, and imaginative. The introvert, like my husband, as a child loved setting up toy scenes for his fantasy worlds. There is always a lot going on in his head, and a lot of it having to do with "mysterious" things.

My son, who is an extrovert, absolutely loves to play out skits, do big dramas, and role playing. Usually ninjas and superheros of the late. He is also thinking, thinking, thinking, most of which I am privy to since he likes to talk it all out, and ask a million questions. It is exhausting. He also shines up like a light bulb when he "tricks" you in a game, or is being sneaky. I actually pretend like I don't notice him being sneaky so he can get his sneakiness out. (Oh, aren't I sneaky!)

Despite that scorpios have a sharp mind prone to imagination and fantasy, they are still fairly grounded and very rational beings from my observation. Friends with toddlers who are "air" or even "fire signs" seem to have a hard time rationalizing with their toddlers who get very emotional. The air and fire sign children may have a harder time getting them focused and following direction - aka the free spirits who tend to be in this group. Not a bad thing per say, until you are trying to get your kid up and out to do stuff ect.

From a very small age, say 16 months, I have been able to talk to my son and rationalize with him through a situation  This made "the terrible two's" not as bad. He can get intensely focused on an activity if he likes it, and is pretty easy to take direction. This is somewhat typical to a scorpio kid I hear.

How To Help Keep Scorpio's Mood In Check? 

The best way to manage scorpios, I have found from living with three, is to "ground" them. I am an earth sign so it comes easy to me. Here are some ways:

1) Make sure they go connect to nature every day.  Walk with bare feet, go for hikes, adventures out in nature, go camping. You get the picture.

2) Make sure they eat on time. Best tip ever. Don't forget this, or be ready and waiting for their scorpio tail to reer up and strike you even before you know what is happening. Hand them a snack quick! Or you will loose them into a dark downward spiral as they become irrational, argumentative, strubborn....it is not pretty folks. You are warned. 

3) Make sure they get enough sleep. True for most people really, but when dealing with moody people, you have to cover your bases. Try to get your baby/child on a regular nap schedule and night time routine. You will be rewarded.

4) Give lots of kisses and hugs. Be ready and waiting to give lots of comfort to your little one (or even your scorpio spouse).  They feel grounded by touch. 

5) Human Connection. They need to feel a deep bond with another. They want to know someone loves them and has "their back".  This keeps them in balance, and makes them feel safe.

But Wait, My Scorpio Isn't Very Moody
Either A: you are doing a really great job at balancing your little scorpio.
Or B: you are lucky!

But there is also other signs (like their rising sign and moon sign)  in their zodiac chart that could be overshadowing. Or other genetic stuff. Or this whole zodiac thing is a crock!

Hope this is helpful to know how to balance your scorpio child. In the end, a person is unique and so who knows. Life is a mystery!

More Info on Scorpios
Scorpio (♏) is the eighth astrological sign in the Zodiac, originating from the constellation of Scorpius. Scorpio is considered a feminine, negative (introverted) sign by most modern astrologers. Under the tropical zodiac, the Sun enters Scorpio on October 23 and exits on November 22. In Greek Mythology, the myths associated with Scorpio almost invariably also contain a reference to Orion. To read more, click here.

Nada Yoga - At One with Concert Music

Here in the concert hall, the energy is crisp. The crowd is entranced, hanging off each and every note. Ricocheting off the ceiling was the sound of my son shifting in his seat. There he sat alert and aware, his tiny frame at risk of being swallowed by the recoil of the fancy concert seat.

"Try to really listen to the music," I said to my three-year-old as we sat amongst a crowd of passionate music-lovers listening to Schubert's string quartet in G major. "Let the music fill you up and carry you away, " was about all the advise I could give him.

The lovely young thing sitting next to us, who must of been a student at IU's School of Music, sat there with her eyes closed. I could practically feel her spirit soaring up above the stage, pulsing with the ebb and flow of the violins and cello.

From our second story balcony seats, I watched beads of sweat fly from the second violinist's brow with each deep thrust of his bow.

It was completely seductive.

Nada Yoga means union through sound. It is the ancient spiritual art and science of inner transformation through sound and tone. Meditation on sound is one universal path to Self Realization, accessible to anyone, and appropriate for people of any religion or spiritual aspiration.

Back in the concert hall, my son wants his granola bar. I dare not attempt to unwrap it, for fear of rudely awakening anyone from their nada yoga experience. Instead, I hand him an apple, and hope for the best.

Amazing things happen when a concert hall full of people are deeply concentrated on listening to the music. Things like a three-year-old boy being able to sit still(ish) for over thirty-minutes while he hums softly and begins to understand what it means to be "at one with the music".

Then, just like that, it was over. The crowd applauded adoringly. The musician left the stage, and both me and my son looked at each other like someone pulled the plug out of our music box. Was that it? No, just the intermission.

Earlier this week, after the third day of my son waking me up asking if we were going to the concert today, I had to sit him down and talk about expectations. I feared he would be greatly disappointed. It was just a free concert, so there might not be a lot of people. It might be a small stage; a small concert, with just a couple people playing music.

But one look into his eyes at that moment, I knew for sure, he wasn't disappointed.

I was so grateful for this moment for so many reason. Firstly, to live in a small community that has access to beautiful concert halls and world renown musicians. Thankful for people who follow their passion, and have the determination and will to practice, and then share their passion with us.

And, what a blessing to be able to share a simple beautiful moment, one without thoughts or words, with others (especially one that I love).