A Yoga ... Competition?

A yoga competition? I know, it makes no sense.

Entering my photo in the Yoga Journal Talent Search has irked me, bringing up many different conflicting emotions.

One of the reasons I so much enjoy yoga, after a long journey through competitive gymnastics then collegiate diving, is the absence of competition. In fact, the minute you try to "compete" in yoga, you end up looking like a total fool. Which is what I feel like entering this competition.

Competition in yoga, however, is not a foreign concept. Apparently,  intellectual debates between masters of various spiritual traditions were a vibrant part of ancient Indian culture. Nowadays in Tibetan Buddhist monasteries, the monks also participate in intellectual debates. 

So, where'd we go wrong?

For better or worse, competition is embedded into the very fabric of American culture. From schools, sports, jobs, to comparing yourself to your neighbor or your siblings. And I HATE it. I never liked the idea of having to be the BEST according to someone else's rules.

I've always loved to push myself and see myself grow, but I've always hated the icky feelings that come with not winning when I so much wanted to. Or the resulting feelings that I just wasn't good enough. 

Today's culture of competition can involve a "die-hard" attitude about winning. As in blindly winning at all costs. Healthy competition involves a respect for others, and a respect for yourself. 

It is easy to get swept up in the idea that winning will make us "happy". Or, that doing a difficult pose makes us more of a yogi. But we all know winning rarely brings lasting happiness. 

So if competing brings up feelings of unworthiness if we don't win, and fleeting happiness when we do win, why do it at all? A good Buddhist teacher would take the opportunity here to point out that this sounds a little like the first noble truth: life is suffering. 

Fortunately, the way out of all this sufferings comes with the second noble truth - the origin to suffering is attachment. So then, the trick to "right competition" must be to not get attached to winning or the result.
  

Competition is certainly a detriment when you do it to inflate your ego or get so focused on the end result that you forget about joy of the moment. 

As a teacher, it becomes so obvious when ego starts getting in the way when watching my students. It comes out even if they are simply competing against themselves. They are so lost in their one-pointed attempt to do a, say headstand, or bind in that darn twist, that they can't see it. On the mat, some days I play out similar battles against my own ego. On good days, I will realize it: just chill man, stop torturing yourself. You are making good effort, but now let it go and just enjoy what is.

I certainly think a little competition is fun as long as it is paired with "right effort" and "right motivation". Competition helps to connect with others and can help push your skills-level and sharpen the mind. 

I do admit that perhaps my ego is a little in the game. Of course I would like to see my picture in the Yoga Journal. It'd be a little retribution after becoming a Domestic Yogi before I was ready. But, hey, I am human.

So after evaluating my reasons for entering the Yoga Journal pose contest (right motivation? right effort?), and because I am doing something I love to do (yoga along with my baby), that is why, in the end, I decided I am okay with entering the competition, no matter the outcome.

In fact, I've been quite pleased about the journey.  It has been wonderful to connect positively with others over my silly little picture.

I love inspiring mothers to continue practicing yoga after their baby, and want to inspire them (with my pictures and blog) to try and bring their practice off the mat and into their parenting.

If you agree, please click over and vote by pressing the RATE button.

Thanks so much for everyone's positive feedback and support these last couple weeks! And thanks to talented photographer Venus of Venus Leah Photography for capturing us so beautifully/

How To Be a Domestic Yogi

For years I worked on developing my one-pointed awareness and mindfulness through asana, mediation and Buddhist tantric practices in order to find some sort of deeper realization into the nature of reality. Single, without kids, a stable job, I had the luxury of time and money to devote to my "personal development."

Now, as The Domestic Yogi, with two young children and many demands on my time, I do not have the luxury of time to spend on diving down deep into such practices. I am still obsessed with awakening the divine within, but now I am more concerned with living as consciously and compassionately as possible. 

The tricky part of being a Domestic Yogi is bringing these "deeper truths" that I've unearthed in my previous practices, into real life and living them fully each moment to moment. 

As the full-time care-giver of small children, sometimes I don't even have the luxury of being able to think a complete thought in my own head during the day. Children have a natural way of forcing you, ready or not, into each moment. The hard part, is staying mindful.

A friend recently asked me what yoga means to me. Before I had children, I would have answered the question much differently. Running off and meditating in a cave and isolating yourself is important so that realizations can be attained, but now I see, it is equally important to share that wisdom with others, and to be a "living example" of the Truth. 

Yoga to me means constant connection to ones inner truth or inner divinity, which of course is the same as universal truth, while still remaining grounded and functioning in this world, especially to benefit others. As a Domestic Yogi, staying fully connected yet available and present is key. Yoga isn't just an asana practice, it is an 8-fold path and way of living. 

But how does one stay fully connected and stay present each moment each day?

Ahh, my friends, that IS the path and the practice of the Domestic Yogi!

In my posts to follow, I will explore a few ways to help other inspiring domestic yogis stay centered, connected and present. Better yet, how to do it while being present and playful with your loved-ones! I will share with you my experiences and thoughts on right mindfulness & concentration, compassion & creativity, and how they help you to drop into the moment and BE. 

Just Laugh, Love and Give Full Attention

My squealing laughing cooing baby

All that my little girl wants to do now, while awake, is watch and engage with the world. By engaging, I mean laugh. A lot. What a joy babies are at five-months!

I remember equally enjoying it when my son was this age. It must be because they are still small and baby-like, but are much more happy and independent than newborns. 

It makes me realize that babies only really do need two things the first year of their life: love and attention. 

It was quite easy the first time around to envelope my son in my utmost love and attention. Any negative energy that came his way, I became so conscious of it. I didn't try to shelter him completely from negative energy, as that is just life. But I did "protect" him as best as I could.

Now with a three-year-old it is more difficult to give my baby all my attention and love. Thankfully my baby is naturally patient. Often I look over and see her watching me with wide loving eyes full of curiosity. I can't help but to stop my task at-hand, and go over and engage with her. There is always a smile or maybe a laugh  or a squeal waiting for me.

Just now as I write, she is looking at me talking in her own little way. I look over and talk back, and then go back to my writing. This brings me to my next point...

Giving my baby, or either of my children, my full attention is a constant battle. I feel like they are always fighting for my undivided attention. I know how absolutely thrilling it is to get anyones full, undivided attention. I remember being a child and what an absolute thrill it was to have an adult engage with me (or with other children) full on. It made me feel so special.

Not only do I know how thrilling and empowering it is to get someone's full attention, but I know how absolutely important it is to raise self-assured children. 

Yet, with the boredom and isolation that often comes with being at home with the kids, and with technology at hand, I admit, I am often distracted.  

Texting while breastfeeding baby and playing cars on the couch with my son. Yes, I did it. I am not proud. Sometimes it is a better option than calling, because the children really would have none of that. A simple "sorry, we can't play today we are sick" text seems justifiable. But sometimes it is just not as urgent, and I can't fight the urge to just text, or status update, or write...

I suppose balancing technology, household tasks, mommy-only-time, kid-time, work-time, and all else we do as householders is just part of being an modern-day-parent. Just like we will have to teach our children how to manage their own time spent with technology vs. people.  And show them how important it is to fully engage with the world. And by engage, I mean laugh. A lot.

The Double Buzz

You know that buzz you get while doing something you are deeply passionate about? Wonder how you can increase that buzz (uh, naturally)?

Try sharing your passion. Do it out of love for what you are doing. Do it in the spirit of sharing. Do it for free. Blamo. The double buzz.

Since the end of January, I have been offering a free weekly yoga class at my home "studio". With the new baby, I hadn't been teaching much and missed it. It was a great way to keep my home practice inspired, as well to keep my spirits up knowing I was helping others in my own way. I love teaching yoga. It is such a great way to help others connect to their body, drop out of their minds, and open up to something deeper.

Creating a sacred space and time to share yoga with friends I care so much about infuses light and joy into my very being. Especially when I know many would otherwise not be able to attend a class.

In doing this, it has created a small a sense of community and connection for me. As well, I feel empowered that we battled through the February blues together!

I also wrote an article (another passion for me) for an incredible inspiring new organization called Heiny Helpers. Three mothers from Bloomington, Indiana love cloth diapering so much, that they wanted to share that passion with others who were less financially fortunate.

"By providing reusable cloth diapers to families facing financial hardship, we enable parents to do something better than throw their money in the trash. Not to mention help the environment at the same time.”

Heiny Helpers just started in late January, and already have kept 140,000 diapers out of landfill by putting 20 babies in cloth full-time! Fourteen more are waiting for diapers.

This organization inspires me on so many different levels. It has brought private businesses and organizations in Bloomington together to help make Heiny Helpers a success. Not to mention all the donations from individuals. This little organization is doing big things for the  environment and helping families save money and keep their babies healthier!

I ask you now, what can you do to share your passion???

I Need Your Vote! Yoga Journal Pose Contest

Yoga Journal is doing a Pose Contest and I would love to see a photo in there of a mother and her baby doing yoga - pushing the boundaries of a main stream yoga mag. 

If you would too, check out the photo of my daughter and me, and please VOTE  by clicking here. It is really easy - you just have to push the RATE button.

The contest runs until April 15th. You can vote up to once a day!

Many thanks for your vote! And a big thanks to Venus of Venus Leah Photography for taking such a beautiful photo of us! More photos from our shoot coming soon!

I Have a Calling that's Been Calling...Time to Pick Up!

I was going to wait until I had something concrete lined up before I revealed this, but perhaps, putting it out into the universe will somehow speed up the process.

The more I listen to my inner voice, the more I recognize my passions, the more I observe what makes my spirit glow from the inside out, the more I know I need to surrender, the more I know I need to stop talking.

Sure, it may not be the right time. There may be a million reasons why not. But I simply cannot deny it anymore.

After my varsity diving days ended, and in the midst of my new love-affair with yoga, I taught competitive springboard diving to a team of girls (and one boy) aged 10 - 16, three times a week for two years. Diving may be a sport, and you certainly need physical strength, flexibility and grace, but, as I have been told many times, it is one of the most mental sports out there.

Trying to teach a bunch of emotional, neurotic and overly dramatic youths one of the most mental sports out there posed a bit of a challenge for me. Our brains don't fully develop until our twenties, so I certainly don't blame them. I adored them all. But man, talk about having to confront serious fear-issues. To make it worse, I didn't have the top level over-achieving youths hell bent on being national champions. I had the semi-serious in-betweeners. The wishy washy ones.

The more I learned about yoga and "eastern thought", the more I incorporated meditation and yogic philosophy into my coaching. I infused some yoga poses into our warm-up, and after would lead the group to a quiet place and we did deep breathing exercises and guided meditations.

I remember retelling them a parable I had just read in a book by Ram Dass. It was about a carriage driver who all his life had been driving the carriage wherever he wanted. He never had a destination, and drove chaotically all around. The King sat inside the whole time not caring where they went.

One day the King decided he wanted to take back control of his royal carriage. The King finally decided on a destination. The King and the carriage driver fought and fought. The carriage driver had wrongly assumed he was in charge all this time and didn't want to give up control. Eventually, the King won, after all, it was his carriage. The King was then able to use the carriage driver to get where he wanted to go.

The carriage driver is like our mind. We walk around thinking that our mind is in control. The mind flips this way and that way. In reality, it is the King who is in control. The King represents our True Self, our divine nature, or whatever you want to call it. It is our deep inner Self that controls the mind, and not vice versa. It may take a while to calm the mind and take control back - the mind will go wild! But once the True Self regains control, it then has the ability to turn the mind off and on at will, and then use the mind to drive the Soul where it really needs to go.

"But I keep having thoughts that I am going to smack," said one of my ten-year-old students waiting on the end of the diving board. She was attempting yet another back dive tuck which she's done well loads of time.

"You are not your mind," I tell her, reiterating our past lessons about the mind verses Self.  "Your mind will have lots of thoughts," I say, "good ones and bad ones. They are all just thoughts. You don't have to listen to them. Use your mind as a tool." 

She looks relieved. "In the end, you control your mind," I say. "Now go use your mind to focus on jumping up straight and lifting your arms like we've been working on." She steps back out onto the diving board, focuses, and does a lovely dive.

I know for a fact, if I was introduced to yoga and meditation as a child or youth, I would have been a far better diver. Perhaps it is karma, but I was a total head-case of a teen diver and it held me back for many years. Then later in my varsity days I let my nerves and my mental mush get to me during the 3.5 seconds it takes to preform a dive that I had practiced, literally, hundreds of times.

Beyond diving though, often I look back and wish I had the skills as a youth that I have learned in yoga. Yoga would of helped me to stay centered amongst the stress and chaos of growing up. Yoga would have helped me to connect to my deeper authentic self, instead of getting caught up in external pressures of society and peers. Yoga would have helped me stay more true to myself and honor my feelings in such a confusing coming-to-age time. Yoga would of been my peace and refuge; a safe nurturing place where I knew I could always return.

It was only when I started to practice yoga after college, that it finally became my salvation in the vast ever-changing "real-world" as I attempted to navigate my place in it. Yoga has helped me find my path that feels oh so good and whole to me.

Even the research confirms my assumptions. It shows that yoga and meditation teach tools to help young people do better in school, reduce the anger and violence, experience peace within, rekindle hope for the future, and become positive contributing members of our society.

I loved coaching those crazy pre-teens and teens. It warmed my heart. I loved their passion, their exhurberence, their innocence, and their bright spirits. I loved seeing them grow and evolve. I love knowing I taught them more, so much more than just a hand-full of dives. Plus, I think it is important to have real-life positive role-models. There are already far to many enough fake role-models living ideals that will lead teens away from their unique True Self.

For all these reasons, and more, I feel called (and I don't use that world lightly) to teach youths yoga. It has been something I have been wanting to do since my coaching days. I really didn't like the competitive element in diving. Right now I teach yoga to younger children, which I love too. But I really want to reach out to the age-group who I know needs "the mental" part of yoga the most.

In fact, this summer I hope to lead a two-week summer camp - where one week is for pre-teens and one week for teens. It will be yoga-based but also incorporate creative elements and other philosophies. Hmm, maybe I will reach out to the local gymnastic and diving clubs.

Here is to waking up to ones "calling," and hoping it doesn't have to stay on the back burner for much longer.

Got Grovia, Will Travel

On our third road trip with our four month-old, we have successfully completed a three day journey, yes that is 72 hours, exclusively cloth diapering away from home. And let me tell you, it was easy. As easy as cloth diapering at home really.

The first road trip when she was a wee three-weeks-old was over Thanksgiving week. I was tired and new to cloth diapering, and not up for the challenge of messing with it while at the in-laws for four long days. I didn't think I had enough to get me though the four days. Plus, I think I was too tired, foggy, and busy to even care.

Our next three day road trip over Christmas we ended up cloth diapering, but used biodegradable disposable inserts. The inserts went into the garbage, however, and I didn't like the feeling of adding to environmental waste.

This trip, I decided to just go for it. Here is how I managed to cloth diaper for 72 hours away from home:

1. Loaded my big (clean) diaper wet bag full of Grovia covers and inserts.

2. Loaded my diaper bag as usual for day outings with a couple covers, few inserts, cloth wipes, spray bottle (for cleaning up the poo), and small travel wet bag.

3. Put baby in fresh diaper and away we go!

4. Change baby #1 after three hours into a 4.5 hour drive, putting wet diaper in small wet bag. Note: she slept the first three hours. Diaper was wet, but didn't leak.

5. After arriving at destination, took out all items in big wet bag and piled them in new temporary diaper changing area.

6. Moved all dirty diapers and dirty cloth wipes to big wet bag.

7. Loaded up diaper bag as usual for daily outings. Transferred dirty diapers in small wet bag into big one at end of day.

That is pretty much it. She only pooped once, and that one was wrapped up tight in the cover. I was worried it might smell so I put it in a plastic bag and then stored it in the wet bag.

We just got home and I emptied the contents of the big wet bag into our washer, including the wet bag, and prewashed, then laundered as usual. Diapers are hung out and drying now.

Here is a run down of what I ended up using:

     - 5 Grovia covers

     - 16 cloth inserts
     - 3 cloth wipes
     - 3 biodegradable disposable inserts.

I brought more covers than I needed, but you never know when you might get leaks, especially in the poo department. I am a pretty new Grovia cover user, and I wasn't overly confident. However, from my trip, I can say I am very confident with Grovia now. It only let me down once, and that I believe was just user error. My husband attempted a snap cover, followed by a feeding in bed where she leaked out the side.

I am really loving the Grovia covers. They really do lock the wetness in, even overnight. The covers, for the most part, don't even get wet and I can just switch out the insert. Poo is a little different. Since my dd is exclusively breast fed, her poops are quite liquid and I have to change out the cover with the insert. BUT I rarely have had poo get on her outfit.

I am surprised it wasn't any harder than normal or inconvenient. I am confident I will continue to CD while on trips. I love not creating more waste for the environment and feel better knowing what I am putting next to my baby's skin.